35. Helmine - Letter to C*

I don't know if the problem is that you don't trust me or if it's just that you're stubborn, perhaps both. Thinking the case to be lack of trust, in a very broad way, I guarantee: I'm trustable.
This not trustable thing between us - my biggest problem with it is, actually, not being sure that there's something to grab hold of and be clear about - is not a game to me and yet I play but, hey, it has absolutely nothing to do with my honesty when it comes to what I answer, what I want and what really matters.
That's the thing, cowboy, and Aristotle himself would second it: either you trust it (me) or not. Either you go for it or not, of course. Going for it can be done without all this trust.
See, if I'm the tough and complicated one, why do I give in, give up and still give in? Do you really think it's because I don't accept you not giving in? Because I'm too damn capricious to accept a loss? Fuck it, I want you. I want to see what would be made of this. I want to know what do I want from you. I want to know what do you want. Think about it, why do I give in once more? Why the hell don't you?
You pretend you would if I could. You would if I would. You would not.
Here I'll go, I'll push you a little bit more and you'd better think well before answering me by seeming the reasonable one. I'm willing to take no more than one "no" from you right now. I'll not take your excuses built above my good sake, limits or age. I can take care of myself but I think you can take a little care of me, too.