154.

   I will not be put on hold, nor will I lie in wait

  To make my way back, the way you do not want

  Or someone's way, not mine

  And since you want not and will not know

  What happens inside

  At what point is the heal and where the fuck it is not

  You won't get to know when

  It happens

  The big let go

  The change of me

  That will come from no amends with this monstruous change of you

  I have a talent, you know

  Os perhaps even two

  First, never letting go of what matters to me

  The other is, past that, never looking back

  To let one in again

  Cause I cannot, old friend

  But when I say it, it's true.

  This won't be called my choice,

  the coldness of my heart.

  You've let me go before

  And hid away from me

  But very unlike mine

  It didn't hurt your core

  You had someone (un)like me

  And will again, and so

  You know how to go on

  And fix all of the hurt

  It is not you who have

  To hide away your heart

  Protect it from the urge

  To give yourself apart